Finally Woken

Before Hiatus

I've got to say that it has been a busy week for me. I had a promising lunch meeting to discuss the future of Indonesian Expatriates Forum last Friday at Cazbar. Tamara and Greg turned up after 5 and we had few drinks before decided to try our luck at Loewy.

Now, I had try to arrange a meet-up at Loewy but every time I was told that we must book the table at least two weeks in advance, a strange concept for Indonesian. But we felt quite adventurous that night and went anyway. We didn't get a table, obviously, but we secured a good spot at the bar. After several minutes spent to look around, my impression was: boring. I don't know why people are so into that place these days. It's just like another hang-out place, nothing spectacular about it. Except that everybody apparently goes there. No surprise then after 20 minutes, my friends alerted me that the guy who just walked in and ordered drinks next to me was someone I probably know. I turned around and saw my ex boss. Correction, my ex-CEO. We ended up talking, and thank God, it was nothing about work. At the end we left the place about 2.30 AM, right before the waiter kicked us out. Such a long day, considering I started drinking after lunch time.

Read more...

Wrong! It's Hard To Say I'm Sorry

Why is it difficult for some people to admit they are wrong, let alone apologise, even though they know they are wrong, or proven wrong?

In my attempt of trying to understand this particular person who has caused a major headache for the past two days, because I couldn't put myself in her shoes, I went around in the virtual world trying to find some answers. And I guess I did.

We all have a hard time admitting that we're wrong, it's not entirely our fault. Social psychologist Elliot Aronson says our brains work hard to make us think we are doing the right thing, even in the face of sometimes overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

The engine that drives self-justification, the energy that produces the need to justify our actions and decisions — especially the wrong ones — is an unpleasant feeling that called "cognitive dissonance." Cognitive dissonance is a state of tension that occurs whenever a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent, such as "Smoking is a dumb thing to do because it could kill me" and "I smoke two packs a day."

Dissonance is disquieting because

Read more...

Yesteryear Revisit (Age That I Wish To Get Back To)

I once tagged about this by Fida, asking what age I wish to get back to, and I have briefly mentioned about it in this post because at that moment people from the past suddenly reappeared in my life at the same time, a long overdue project was back in full speed, and of course, Indy was back after 19 years hiatus.

But then Woelank and Ecky also tagged me recently, and this time, I let myself think a bit harder, and I realised there is one particular moment in my life I wish I could get back to, not because it was full of loving memories, but because of that I had to bear a consequence for a long time, and if I could turn back the time, I'd certainly do the other way around.

I was probably 23 or 24 and...

Read more...

Belated Apology from The Ass-Pincher

About four years a go, Stuart and Huib celebrated their joined birthday by throwing a BBQ party at Bugil's bar. I think it was either Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and there were about 50 people turned up to stuff their faces with sausages, burgers and beers. Most of them were people we hung out with, the usual suspects. Some I didn't recognise, and I guessed they were either party crashers or Huib's friends.

By late afternoon, it became too hot and people gradually moved inside to get some cool air from the bar, and before long the bar was packed with people buying beers and other cold drinks. I stayed outside for most of the time, close to the food supply. Sometime before dark I went inside to go to the loo. It was absolutely crowded, and I had to push myself in between people just to pass. On that moment, I felt that someone had pinched my bum. I stopped, looked around, but there was no indication who did it. I really had to pee so I continued my journey.

After I finished,

Read more...

Me and Them; A(n Almost) Lesbian Love Story

Inspired by Rima and Therry's posts about how some people just click and become so close after only several months, as well as being insanely jealous because they don't include me in their (lesbian) combo, and seeing that their posts drove more traffic to their blogs respectively (hence, more jealousy), I decide that rather than begging (waiting for) them to love me, in the spirit of virtual competition, I have to brag that I actually have that sort of relationship they're having now.

Those who read my blog regularly might know that Ecky isn't just my blogbuddy. She is my buddy. Well, more than a buddy, actually. She is one of my best friends in real life. Flesh and blood and all. Considering that we met only a couple of years ago, we have been developing a very strong bond between us. Even back then I sometimes wondered how we could fit so perfectly and understand each other so much sometimes we're so alike it's scary. She is one of my (real) friends who blog, and last year we were trying to learn HTML language, we spent a lot of time in front of computers (me in Aberdeen and her in Jakarta) and discussed how to put widgets, or how to change the header, or what is technorati. Both of us have had zero knowledge of HTML language so we were learning by doing. When I was back for holiday, we and other friends met up for a coffee and before we realized we talked about blog and bloggers, and I was helping her to fix her expandable post mode, up until our other friends started to feel annoyed because they were left out of the conversation and couldn't understand a single word we were talking. My passion of writing (or to some, it's more ranting but what the heck, others love my rants!) was infectious, and Ecky (as well as another best friend Melly) started to write more regularly on her blog.

Continue reading...

Let's Get This Party Started

Bigger is better. More glamorous is better. More people to attend is better. Longer train, heavier make-up, and higher hair, are better. The more expensive is better. The more famous people, from caterer, hairstylist, until the list of guests, are definitely better. Anything that screams 'I'm rich, I'm fabulous', is typical Indonesian wedding. Even though the bride might look like Krisdayanti rather than herself on her wedding day.

But we are going to have something small, intimate, low-key, party. We had tied the knot last year, and this time is the celebration as well as the first anniversary party. We only invite a bunch of close friends and family and after a long consideration we changed from 50 to 100 guests, well, less than 100. It's considered very, very, very small in Indonesia, but that's what we want.
==========================================================================

Continue to Finally Woken to read the complete story.

When Things Gone Sour

This particular woman drove me mad almost two years ago. Her twisted mind and even more twisted words were really upsetting, and I had to remind myself that she is married to someone I care about, to calm myself down.

That argument is never settled. I kept insisting that she was involved in a matter that was totally unrelated to her and she didn't show a respect to me and my family. I told her to mind her own business and stop messing with people's life, especially those whom she doesn't know. She doesn't even have my mobile number for God's sake, she hadn't seen me for years before this issue came up, so how could she think she could preach me about things she didn't even understand? But when her replies came, they became more bizarre every time. She is not a type of person who has structured braincells and since I was too busy even to get some descent sleep, after replying 3 or 5 crazy text messages I decided to quit arguing. It was useless. I didn't have time and energy, and I didn't want to jump into her labyrinth of mind, where I couldn't decipher where the reality ended and where the fantasy began.